Adversity is one of the things that makes you who you are. I learned this the hard way over the past two years, and it seems as if it’s going to fight to the last breath. However, such is life. I hate the suffering and stress involved, but in reality, I wouldn’t be who I am without it.

During my sophomore year of high school, I was your average teenage kid. Sure, maybe I thought a little bit more than some and yes I tried to hold myself to some sort of moral standard, but that was about it. Responsibility was something to be shunned and dreaming of what I had the potential to do with my life took up most of my time. That and Civilization II and III.

My responsibilities and workload increased exponentially my junior year. I essentially forgot how to have fun, and I stopped socializing. It got so stressful that at one point the only thing I relied on emotionally was my girlfriend…which turned out to be a very bad move and introduced me to whole new levels of pain. I had college-level tests to prepare for, I had practices and performances with the many band groups I was involved with, I had my church responsibilities. I got stuck in a microcosm of the blue-collar rat race much of America is stuck in. At least, however, things were relatively predictable, and the path was clear. I knew what I had to do, I knew how to do it, and it all relied on my own abilities. I know that sounds controlling, but for someone as odd as myself it feels like a necessity.

Senior year things really began to heat up. I was Drum Major of my marching band, which I cared very much about. I put my heart and soul into trying to help that band have a great year and do the very best it could. Unfortunately, I also happened to be a Drum Major for a band director who did not choose me. As hard as I tried and as many times I tried to address the situation, little communication took place, little support was given, and I was left without knowing what was expected of me, what I was allowed to do, and what rules to follow. I failed to be a good leader and I failed to help the band improve.

There was also the college question. Not knowing where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do made life very stressful and difficult. On top of that, AP Calculus has been one of my weakest subjects. I also had to work away at the requirements for Eagle Scout with the deadline of my birthday looming in the distance.

Most of this is done or almost done. Wednesday I sit the AP Calc exam, and so I need to spend every waking moment studying. However, there is also a large project that was just announced as due Thursday, and I will be busy with Scouts most of Wednesday. It’s adversity. The year is almost over, and yet I still have a long ways to go. The home stretch is not easy. Senior year is a lie.

Also, I’ve been trying to get a job for six months now, and I’ve had absolutely no luck. Not one interview. Not even a single returned call. I can’t pay for college. I have enough money to keep me alive on my own for maybe two months. No job, and a miniscule amount of scholarship money. It’s a nightmare. One might wonder why God would put us through this, after we’ve tried so hard to serve him.

I’m sorry if this appears to be whining, I’m trying not to. I’m trying to make a point. I’ve changed a lot since I started having trouble, since things became difficult. I’m a new person, a better person. I accept responsibilities and I have a better work ethic. I’m mature, I can handle pain pretty easily, and I’ve set my priorities straight.

The truth is, adversity is a good thing. God isn’t punishing me, and He isn’t making life so hard just because He feels like it. He’s forging me into a worthy servant. If I have learned by walking through fire, what will stop me afterwards? I’ve learned so much in the past two years, and it probably outstrips the past ten years in life value. There is a point to all of the hurt. There is a point to all of the times bad things happen to good people (although I can’t claim to be a good person).

He wants us to trust Him. He wants us to put our faith in him, to pray like He’s our only hope to pay for college and then work like we expect nothing. I haven’t been rewarded yet. I’m scared out of my wits for the future. The entire rest of my life could hinge on the next few weeks, and there has been no sign of the storm letting up. What if I don’t finish my Eagle? What if I don’t pass my test? What if I can’t pay for college…or a mission? It’s terrifying.

But you know what? I have faith. Things are gonna be okay eventually. Maybe not now, and maybe not for a while, but it will all work out for my best interest. God will not abandon us, it is only us that abandons him, when the skies grow dark. Remember that.

I’ll keep praying, and I’ll keep searching, and I’ll keep applying, and I’ll keep working hard. Eventually, I’ll get the money. Eventually, I’ll get it done. I know it.

I hope we all remember the true meaning of Easter this weekend. I know there are baskets to fill and eggs to hide, dinner to prepare and church to attend (in some cases for the first time since Christmas). In the middle of all the hustle and bustle, just like Christmas, please don’t forget the real reason behind the holiday. It’s far more important than we remember or even realize.

I know Jesus Christ lives. I know that He suffered and died for us, and tomorrow (according to our calendar) it will have been another year since He was resurrected. Since He broke the chains of death and of this world. He dedicated his life to serving us. To serving you. He gave up all the fun he might have had, the childhood dreams he might have pursued, and the respect he might have had. He gave up money and home. He gave up his life. He sacrificed everything he had and everything He could have obtained for us. I know it. I can feel it resonating within me.

I know he lives and loves us. I know that the events we have commemorated this past week and will commemorate tomorrow are the most important events that have ever happened and will ever happen in the history of this earth. I want to serve Him. I want to emulate Him. I want to do my best to model my life after His. I am not strong enough yet, and in fact I am very weak, but I hope to be strong enough one day. I want to have the strength to sacrifice everything I have to further God’s work. There is no greater calling; there is no greater blessing.

I know he loves us, and that cares about each of us individually. He knows us by name. He wants to help us through all of our trials in life, if only we let Him in. Ask and ye shall receive, knock and ye shall enter. This is all for us. Every aspect of it. They call Charity the Pure Love of Christ because that’s exactly what Christ’s actions were. They were selfless.

As I go about this week, I will try to live worthy of these sacrifices. I will try to make them worthwhile on my part. I don’t want His sacrifice to be wasted on me. I know that God still speaks to us through his prophets, and that through his gospel we can be saved from death and Hell. I know his hand has blessed the gospel in the face of adversity, and has fortified it against Satan in the eternal war of souls. I know that the true church is again on the earth, and that Christ is at it’s head.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

“People don’t talk that way”
“No, but they think that way”

Well I talk that way, and I can write this way. You just have to be paying attention.

Kate Chopin, Nathaniel Hawthorne, and Henry David Thoreau wrote that way. It’s most unfortunate that by and large, no one seems to really understand what they were writing. They see only what they want to see, and then they rally behind it and use it to trumpet their own cause. People do that a lot.

The English language is a very inexact thing. It can’t quite properly convey what we’re thinking or feeling to others by itself. But those authors who can use common experiences, symbolism, and imagery to craft a true work of art can, if the reader is paying attention, speak as close to universal truth as is possible without the direct aid of God. You just have to listen to what’s being said.

I wish my own weak words could convey what I feel and what I think right now. Some day they might, if all goes well. Alas, I am no warrior-poet. I am no Shakespeare. I am no Chopin. But please, study these unworthy characters of mine. Try to understand.

We all want to be understood in this great search that is humanity. Sometimes we’re looking for the answer. Sometimes we have the answer. But sometimes, we just want the comfort of knowing that somewhere out there…someone else is searching too.

I’ve been pondering what it means to be great lately.

Have you ever stopped to think just how easy it would be to die at any given moment? If you walk into a room, you could slip and hit your head on a coffee table. You could fail to turn off the gas. You could fall down the stairs. You could place your hand under the lawn mower. You could keep that hair drier plugged in while you wash your hands. Have you ever been driving down a highway, and realized that if you turn your hands ever so slightly, you would go barreling headfirst into a semitruck?

What I’m getting at is that there are so many opportunities we have to die. Some rely on carelessness. Some rely on deliberate attempt. However, they’re all there. The only reason we’re alive with all these possiblities is because we choose to avoid these things. We walk that razor’s edge, and we keep our heads down. It seems crazy, but it’s not so hard when you’ve been doing it your whole life.

Today, I realized that greatness is the same way. We’re by-and-large content to stare at our feet as we walk through life. We focus on being “safe” and “secure”, rather than actually doing something with our lives. We smother our talents.

When you really think about it though, all you have to do is turn that wheel a few degrees to the left, and that existence is forever changed. The opportunities to make a difference are all around us, every day. No matter what our circumstances, no matter what our talents, no matter what our obligations, there is always that stairwell, or that hair drier right there in front of you (I realize this sounds morbid, bear with me). You don’t have to be a nobody. Keep in mind however, that greatness doesn’t work like absolute values. Only the positive numbers are useful in life’s equation. Lose sight of the order of operations, and you’ll be shooting yourself in the foot on this exam.

What do you want your Wikipedia article to say?

Quick update folks. I’ve got some good posts churning, but I thought I’d leave you this little kiss to hold you over. I really apologize for the sub-par posting lately. The deep thoughts will return.

Anyways…

Randall Munroe of XKCD has done it again, this time with his most controversial post ever. You’d be surprised how easily people get up in arms over fruit.

There are the banana shippers, the Kiwis who insist they’re called rock-melons, not cantaloupe, and those poor travesties who actually think grapefruit can be tasty. According to his blog (err…blag), it only took about 800 seconds after the comic was posted for his inbox to flood with angry messages from people who think watermelon is not overrated or that he’s an idiot for forgetting starfruit. This is an incredibly large internet phenomenon. Who knew how defensive we humans are about our fruit prefrences?

Where the heck is honeydew? That’s what I want to know.

Stop and think about this for a minute though. People are up in arms over this thing. The site has an incredible number of hits, comments, and links (including the ones here) stemming all from this one simple graph. Another blogger pointed this out and drew people’s attention to his criticism of the previous Monday’s comic, being unhappy with the sexism. Well, in reality he was being nitpicky about the antagonist not having a hat and the wording of the title, but still.

What does this show about the world today? We care more about fruit than we do about treating others fairly. We care more about voting for American Idol than we do for the next President. We’d rather write songs about how terrible the world is today than get active in the community. We’d rather check MySpace than help our little brothers with their spelling homework. I could go on, but I think you get the point.

What would the world be like if we just stopped for a moment, and thought about what was really important in the grand scheme of things? Think about how many hours we waste on things that don’t really matter, but that somehow end up high on our priority lists. In fact, make a list of the things that are important to you. The things that really matter. No, I don’t mean trying to prove to your friends that “Jump” is the best Van Halen song. I don’t mean five-starring “Run To The Hills” on expert. I mean the things that really matter.

Finished?

Look at that list, and then think about what you’ve been doing recently. Does it coincide with that list? If things seem a little out of whack, then you’re right. They are. I won’t lie, I’ve got a lot of rearranging to do myself. I challenge each and every one of you to do something more valuable with your time today. Take those three hours you watch TV each night and go to bed early, so you can get up early to work on that book you’ve been wanting to write. Pause in the middle of your game, and go make your sister’s bed. Do something to make someone smile, and then do something that will help get you closer to your life goals. After all, you only get one shot at this life.

In fifty year’s time, are you going to be able to look back on your life and say you’ve reached your fullest potential? For most of us, the answer right now is probably not in the affirmative. We can change that though.

I want to be able to look back and honestly be able to say I’ve lived a full life. How about you?

EDIT: Don’t forget a good start to the next as well

A vote for McCain is a vote for the collapse of conservatism

Take a look here

Now I normally don’t put too much store in Rush, I don’t really listen to him and a lot of people automatically ignore whatever he has to say just because it’s him that happens to be saying it. Hear me out though…he got this from a different source. This is pretty significant…and it means that the polls are wrong. The Republicans are absolutely screwed if McCain gets the nomination. Here, according to Rush’s source, is why:

I don’t know where the blog is from. But the guy was going through the exit poll data and has analyzed it, via the CNN website and their exit poll numbers and he says they reveal some surprising things from Florida. Romney won pro-lifers. Romney won the mainstream religious. Huckabee won the very religious, which is less than one-fifth of the pool.

Romney won the Protestants. Romney tied Huckabee with evangelicals. Romney won the pro-George W. Bush voters. Romney is the primary second choice of Giuliani voters and Thompson voters and McCain voters. Romney won the immigration hardliners. Romney won the upper middle class earning between $100,000 and $200,000 annually. Romney won the terrorism-oriented voters. Romney won the self-identified conservatives and the self-identified very conservatives. Romney won the values-oriented voters. Romney won the white voters. Romney won the tax-cutting voters. As this blogger writes, “In short, Romney won the Republican Party’s idea of itself, and that, too, is a big deal. If you’re white, Protestant, anti-abortion, you go to church on Sunday, you think well of the president, you want lower taxes, you hate terrorists, you make a good living, you want to do something about immigration, you live in Florida; chances are you voted Romney. The question before Florida was whether McCain could win in a closed Republican race, and now we know he can. The question now is whether he can win with conservatives, and in Florida McCain did not.”

As we all know, he won with the seasoned citizens in big numbers. He won with the Latino and Hispanic community in south Florida and Miami-Dade, and he won the moderates and the independents. Now, you had to be a Republican to vote, but you come out of there and talk the exit poll, “Are you a Republican?” “I’m an independent, but I’m a Republican,” and people are proud to say they’re independents. It really impresses the pollsters. So these things just keep adding up, and we find out that McCain is in a lot of these places not actually the Republican candidate, he is the candidate of enough Republicans, but independents and moderates and probably even some liberals. Today’s Washington Post story by Dan Balz and Anne Kornblut includes this paragraph: “Republicans, on the other hand, see the prospect of a clear future in their coalition as a result of the nomination contest. McCain is winning important primaries, but he’s doing so without the support of the party’s conservative and religious base.” Well, what more needs to be said? He is winning for the reasons that we’ve laid out here. He’s facing a fractured Republican field with no candidate galvanizing conservatives. That’s what Romney’s choice is now.

So you can see, McCain won a truly “Republican” primary…but he didn’t do it by being a Republican. I’ve been saying this about Giuliani, and I think I can now safely say the same about McCain: He’s a liberal with an R by his name. He identifies with the independents, has many liberal views, and grabs a few of the more ignorant (or anti-Romney/Huckabee) conservatives, but for the most part he doesn’t represent the Republican ideals.

The party is falling apart. The Republican party is shrinking, it’s fracturing. The Republicans are compromising their values in order to keep the Democrats out of the White House. While sometimes even I am tempted to follow that line of thinking (especially if Hillary gets the nomination), this isn’t good for conservatives. If the party loses it’s identity, this country is looking at a long period of Democratic domination…NOT a breakdown of the party system (which I myself would love to see). While the Democrats have some JFKs, they also have a lot of Kerrys, Gores, and Hillary Clintons…and Teds too.

Now I like to think of myself as an independent centrist, but the facts still remain. McCain is a political opportunist, as is his front-running counterpart. If it all comes down to McCain vs Clinton, I think I might cry.

Barack n’ Roll

The other half of the story comes in the surprising form as a post by XKCD creator Randall Munroe. Randall generally likes to keep quiet on the ideas of politics within XKCD spheres, but he’s made a special exception at this critical time.

If life imitates XKCD, then vote for Barack Obama.

Randall points out Obama’s insistence on open systems, and on letting people keep track of what the government does. He points out that currently the only establishment capable of keeping the government in check is the government itself…something that we can all agree (Bush supporters and haters alike) only leads to corruption in government.

Personally, I honestly think that Obama is the only viable Democratic candidate that is honest and truly wants the good of the people. Now I may not agree with all of his views, but as Randall and other sources will show, he means what he says. He’s not doing this for himself (unlike our current frontrunners), he’s doing it for America.

As bad as some of his ideas may be, and as inexperienced as he may be, I believe that if he gets the White House, he’ll be given the strength he needs. The POTUS is a blessed office. God created this nation and it is a channel through which he brings to pass much good. He will give it’s leaders the help they need, if they are humble and are doing their best to serve the nation. If they have good intent, they will be blessed to handle the difficulties ahead of them. America won’t crash and burn because of one man’s naiveté…it has to earn that kind of punishment.

So after much deliberation and uncertainty on my part, I think I’ve finally got things figured out. I know I’m pitching the underdog here, but that’s just my luck. We must go with what we feel is right and who we feel is the right person for the job. I think I finally know what and who is right.

Obama vs Romney ‘08

Gordon B. Hinckley, prophet and president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, my own faith, passed away for reasons involving his advanced age.

Here’s a link

Gordon B. Hinckley was an amazing man. He ensured that LDS welfare trucks were the first to roll in after Katrina, and the first to cross into Florida after the hurricane. He corrected countless misconceptions about the LDS faith, and helped spread an accurate, fair understanding about LDS beliefs.

His work ethic was superb. He traveled constantly and worked harder than most men a third of his age. He had the body of an old man, but the mind of a 30 year old genius. Humorous yet wise, he made the best of every situation.

What’s more amazing is the spiritual side of things. He always knew how to help comfort those in need. When his wife was sick and dying, he was making calls from her bedside to see what he could do to help the homeless in the local area. He placed others above himself and most of all, he was an inspired man of God.

When I was eight, I went to a Semi-Annual General Conference meeting in Salt Lake City. These conferences are internationally broadcast and the leaders of the church speak. I was only a little kid at the time, but when Gordon B. Hinckley walked into the room…I just started to cry. I couldn’t help myself. I felt so happy, so at peace. I felt the spirit of God like I’ve never felt it before or after…as a little boy who knew little but what I’d learned in sunday school. His presence was incredibly powerful. If you were anywhere near him, you could just feel how important and spiritual he was.

This man was truly a prophet of God. I know it in every fiber of my being. I love that man, though I never met him. He will always remain in my heart, as well as the hearts of many other members worldwide. He leaves us to join his wife and to receive his just reward for his many years of devoted service. Rest In Peace Brother Hinckley, you will be missed.