Adversity

Adversity is one of the things that makes you who you are. I learned this the hard way over the past two years, and it seems as if it’s going to fight to the last breath. However, such is life. I hate the suffering and stress involved, but in reality, I wouldn’t be who I am without it.

During my sophomore year of high school, I was your average teenage kid. Sure, maybe I thought a little bit more than some and yes I tried to hold myself to some sort of moral standard, but that was about it. Responsibility was something to be shunned and dreaming of what I had the potential to do with my life took up most of my time. That and Civilization II and III.

My responsibilities and workload increased exponentially my junior year. I essentially forgot how to have fun, and I stopped socializing. It got so stressful that at one point the only thing I relied on emotionally was my girlfriend…which turned out to be a very bad move and introduced me to whole new levels of pain. I had college-level tests to prepare for, I had practices and performances with the many band groups I was involved with, I had my church responsibilities. I got stuck in a microcosm of the blue-collar rat race much of America is stuck in. At least, however, things were relatively predictable, and the path was clear. I knew what I had to do, I knew how to do it, and it all relied on my own abilities. I know that sounds controlling, but for someone as odd as myself it feels like a necessity.

Senior year things really began to heat up. I was Drum Major of my marching band, which I cared very much about. I put my heart and soul into trying to help that band have a great year and do the very best it could. Unfortunately, I also happened to be a Drum Major for a band director who did not choose me. As hard as I tried and as many times I tried to address the situation, little communication took place, little support was given, and I was left without knowing what was expected of me, what I was allowed to do, and what rules to follow. I failed to be a good leader and I failed to help the band improve.

There was also the college question. Not knowing where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do made life very stressful and difficult. On top of that, AP Calculus has been one of my weakest subjects. I also had to work away at the requirements for Eagle Scout with the deadline of my birthday looming in the distance.

Most of this is done or almost done. Wednesday I sit the AP Calc exam, and so I need to spend every waking moment studying. However, there is also a large project that was just announced as due Thursday, and I will be busy with Scouts most of Wednesday. It’s adversity. The year is almost over, and yet I still have a long ways to go. The home stretch is not easy. Senior year is a lie.

Also, I’ve been trying to get a job for six months now, and I’ve had absolutely no luck. Not one interview. Not even a single returned call. I can’t pay for college. I have enough money to keep me alive on my own for maybe two months. No job, and a miniscule amount of scholarship money. It’s a nightmare. One might wonder why God would put us through this, after we’ve tried so hard to serve him.

I’m sorry if this appears to be whining, I’m trying not to. I’m trying to make a point. I’ve changed a lot since I started having trouble, since things became difficult. I’m a new person, a better person. I accept responsibilities and I have a better work ethic. I’m mature, I can handle pain pretty easily, and I’ve set my priorities straight.

The truth is, adversity is a good thing. God isn’t punishing me, and He isn’t making life so hard just because He feels like it. He’s forging me into a worthy servant. If I have learned by walking through fire, what will stop me afterwards? I’ve learned so much in the past two years, and it probably outstrips the past ten years in life value. There is a point to all of the hurt. There is a point to all of the times bad things happen to good people (although I can’t claim to be a good person).

He wants us to trust Him. He wants us to put our faith in him, to pray like He’s our only hope to pay for college and then work like we expect nothing. I haven’t been rewarded yet. I’m scared out of my wits for the future. The entire rest of my life could hinge on the next few weeks, and there has been no sign of the storm letting up. What if I don’t finish my Eagle? What if I don’t pass my test? What if I can’t pay for college…or a mission? It’s terrifying.

But you know what? I have faith. Things are gonna be okay eventually. Maybe not now, and maybe not for a while, but it will all work out for my best interest. God will not abandon us, it is only us that abandons him, when the skies grow dark. Remember that.

I’ll keep praying, and I’ll keep searching, and I’ll keep applying, and I’ll keep working hard. Eventually, I’ll get the money. Eventually, I’ll get it done. I know it.

There are over 1,000 ways to commit greatness with a car

I’ve been pondering what it means to be great lately.

Have you ever stopped to think just how easy it would be to die at any given moment? If you walk into a room, you could slip and hit your head on a coffee table. You could fail to turn off the gas. You could fall down the stairs. You could place your hand under the lawn mower. You could keep that hair drier plugged in while you wash your hands. Have you ever been driving down a highway, and realized that if you turn your hands ever so slightly, you would go barreling headfirst into a semitruck?

What I’m getting at is that there are so many opportunities we have to die. Some rely on carelessness. Some rely on deliberate attempt. However, they’re all there. The only reason we’re alive with all these possiblities is because we choose to avoid these things. We walk that razor’s edge, and we keep our heads down. It seems crazy, but it’s not so hard when you’ve been doing it your whole life.

Today, I realized that greatness is the same way. We’re by-and-large content to stare at our feet as we walk through life. We focus on being “safe” and “secure”, rather than actually doing something with our lives. We smother our talents.

When you really think about it though, all you have to do is turn that wheel a few degrees to the left, and that existence is forever changed. The opportunities to make a difference are all around us, every day. No matter what our circumstances, no matter what our talents, no matter what our obligations, there is always that stairwell, or that hair drier right there in front of you (I realize this sounds morbid, bear with me). You don’t have to be a nobody. Keep in mind however, that greatness doesn’t work like absolute values. Only the positive numbers are useful in life’s equation. Lose sight of the order of operations, and you’ll be shooting yourself in the foot on this exam.

What do you want your Wikipedia article to say?

Comparing Apples and Oranges

Quick update folks. I’ve got some good posts churning, but I thought I’d leave you this little kiss to hold you over. I really apologize for the sub-par posting lately. The deep thoughts will return.

Anyways…

Randall Munroe of XKCD has done it again, this time with his most controversial post ever. You’d be surprised how easily people get up in arms over fruit.

There are the banana shippers, the Kiwis who insist they’re called rock-melons, not cantaloupe, and those poor travesties who actually think grapefruit can be tasty. According to his blog (err…blag), it only took about 800 seconds after the comic was posted for his inbox to flood with angry messages from people who think watermelon is not overrated or that he’s an idiot for forgetting starfruit. This is an incredibly large internet phenomenon. Who knew how defensive we humans are about our fruit prefrences?

Where the heck is honeydew? That’s what I want to know.

Stop and think about this for a minute though. People are up in arms over this thing. The site has an incredible number of hits, comments, and links (including the ones here) stemming all from this one simple graph. Another blogger pointed this out and drew people’s attention to his criticism of the previous Monday’s comic, being unhappy with the sexism. Well, in reality he was being nitpicky about the antagonist not having a hat and the wording of the title, but still.

What does this show about the world today? We care more about fruit than we do about treating others fairly. We care more about voting for American Idol than we do for the next President. We’d rather write songs about how terrible the world is today than get active in the community. We’d rather check MySpace than help our little brothers with their spelling homework. I could go on, but I think you get the point.

What would the world be like if we just stopped for a moment, and thought about what was really important in the grand scheme of things? Think about how many hours we waste on things that don’t really matter, but that somehow end up high on our priority lists. In fact, make a list of the things that are important to you. The things that really matter. No, I don’t mean trying to prove to your friends that “Jump” is the best Van Halen song. I don’t mean five-starring “Run To The Hills” on expert. I mean the things that really matter.

Finished?

Look at that list, and then think about what you’ve been doing recently. Does it coincide with that list? If things seem a little out of whack, then you’re right. They are. I won’t lie, I’ve got a lot of rearranging to do myself. I challenge each and every one of you to do something more valuable with your time today. Take those three hours you watch TV each night and go to bed early, so you can get up early to work on that book you’ve been wanting to write. Pause in the middle of your game, and go make your sister’s bed. Do something to make someone smile, and then do something that will help get you closer to your life goals. After all, you only get one shot at this life.

In fifty year’s time, are you going to be able to look back on your life and say you’ve reached your fullest potential? For most of us, the answer right now is probably not in the affirmative. We can change that though.

I want to be able to look back and honestly be able to say I’ve lived a full life. How about you?

EDIT: Don’t forget a good start to the next as well