Human Statues at Disneyland

Just a short post today, I’ve been busy lately. Thank you to all of you who have comforted LDS members and for your kind words considering my tribute to the late prophet: Gordon B. Hinckley.

I’ve learned a great deal today about comedy, crowd mentality, and what makes people happy. How I learned it is something you’ll have to figure out yourself.

Awesome Group Antics For Going to Disney World (in no particular order)

1. Invisible trip wire: While in a crowd, have all the members of your group stop and take a large step over some unseen barrier on the ground. You can plan for one member of the group to not notice and get their foot caught in it or fall if they’re up to the task as well. Effects include odd looks, pointing and whispering, and other people stepping over the invisible barrier as well.

2. Hitting your head: This is similar, but it’s overhead instead of by your feet. Often, the first person to reach the barrier is the one that hits their head on it, while the others duck. This one is more likely to get others to react as if the barrier was there if done properly.

3. West Side Story: Form a line, and then step and snap as a group. For more details on the specific movements, watch the movie. I’m sure you can get the general idea. Sometimes, Disney staff will start singing the opening song to the musical upon noticing you.

4. Impromptu parade: March in time as a group around the circle in front of the castle while saluting. The crowd response is surprisingly good.

5. Pose as statues in Injun Joe’s cave: This is by far one of the most satisfying group activities. In one of the larger chambers in the cave on Tom Sawyer Island, set up in a pose of some kind and stare at the corridor. Tourists will jump upon first sight, and then question whether you are real/be terrified/laugh hysterically/turn around and go the other way. Priceless.

6. Human statues in general: Freeze in some sort of choreographed pose in front of an oft-frequented part of the park, but not directly in the way of the crowd. Crowd response is increased when the poses match the theme of the area (Pirates, superheroes, ballroom dancers, sailors on a ship (good for the ferry between Tom Sawyer and the mainland), etc.). The best locations include the Robinson Family Treehouse, the benches in front of The Laugh Floor, the aforementioned Injun Joe’s cave (which is such an incredibly good location it warranted it’s own number on the list), the ferry outside the park, and Pirates of the Caribbean. You can also spontaneously freeze while on a ride (point directly in front of you while on Thunder Mountain in a heroic fashion and you’ll see what I mean).

These are just a few of the possible things you can do at Disney World or Disneyland. There are many more, but these are tried-and true crowd stoppers. You might even make some cash in the process. Just don’t try it as a business venture or you’ll be kicked out of the park.

Theme parks, especially Disney parks, are an excellent location for these kinds of antics. They fit the state of mind of the park (you will find that many people will wonder if you are part of the park or if you work at the park), people expect the unexpected here…but will still find it odd and humorous. Putting a smile on someone’s face can make the day all that much more worth it, even if you do miss your fastpass time. You’ll get something out of it, and they will too. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up in some complete stranger’s scrapbook some day.

I know I will.

Questions and comments in the comment section please.

LDS Prophet Dead At 97

Gordon B. Hinckley, prophet and president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, my own faith, passed away for reasons involving his advanced age.

Here’s a link

Gordon B. Hinckley was an amazing man. He ensured that LDS welfare trucks were the first to roll in after Katrina, and the first to cross into Florida after the hurricane. He corrected countless misconceptions about the LDS faith, and helped spread an accurate, fair understanding about LDS beliefs.

His work ethic was superb. He traveled constantly and worked harder than most men a third of his age. He had the body of an old man, but the mind of a 30 year old genius. Humorous yet wise, he made the best of every situation.

What’s more amazing is the spiritual side of things. He always knew how to help comfort those in need. When his wife was sick and dying, he was making calls from her bedside to see what he could do to help the homeless in the local area. He placed others above himself and most of all, he was an inspired man of God.

When I was eight, I went to a Semi-Annual General Conference meeting in Salt Lake City. These conferences are internationally broadcast and the leaders of the church speak. I was only a little kid at the time, but when Gordon B. Hinckley walked into the room…I just started to cry. I couldn’t help myself. I felt so happy, so at peace. I felt the spirit of God like I’ve never felt it before or after…as a little boy who knew little but what I’d learned in sunday school. His presence was incredibly powerful. If you were anywhere near him, you could just feel how important and spiritual he was.

This man was truly a prophet of God. I know it in every fiber of my being. I love that man, though I never met him. He will always remain in my heart, as well as the hearts of many other members worldwide. He leaves us to join his wife and to receive his just reward for his many years of devoted service. Rest In Peace Brother Hinckley, you will be missed.

How To Not Be An Idiot in the 2008 Elections

Status Update

This world is an interesting place.  I’ve learned that firsthand here in Atlanta, where I’m on a trip to visit Oglethorpe University.  It’s surprising to see how much a small liberal arts school can offer.  So much personal attention, a comprehensive and integrated core curriculum that leaves plenty of space for elective classes and work.  What’s more, the beautiful gothic campus and perfect college town placement make it a surprisingly tantalizing option from a previously unheard-of institution. There’s a significant religious revival on campus, with a number of active faith-based groups and a growing tradition of inter-faith cooperation (there are particularly strong ties between the Muslim and Jewish student unions) as well, adding to the unique experience the place offers. I kinda like it.

The good stuff

Here’s a roadmap to 2008, and some pretty obvious ways we can keep the country from spiraling any further into disgusting, ignorant chaos. They’re quick and painless, and if people actually listened to them for once and cared about what’s happening around them, we’d be in a much better place. Just sayin’.

Blind Partisanship

What I’d really like to rant on though is the ridiculous partisanship that is plaguing the nation. So many people are pulling for a candidate just because they’re black or a woman or because of 9/11 (Rudi has made an entire career out of that day, just like his antlered and red nosed brother), and so few of them have any idea what they stand for. It’s terrifying to know just how flippant our society is, especially considering how important this is to the lives of all those involves.

So Barack is black. Does that mean you should vote for him? Does that mean he will represent African American interests? Should that even be a credible question? No! It shouldn’t matter at all. I don’t care what race you are. It shouldn’t matter, and the only reason it does in some of the more racist communities is because of people who paint themselves as the victims and become even more violently racist than any big brother could ever be. Reality check. You make yourself who you are, it doesn’t come pre-packaged. If you’re treated “unfairly”, which happens to be claimed far more often than it’s true, shrug it off. Don’t sink to the same level. Rise above it, and make something with your life. Secondary education is free…don’t give it up for anything. Don’t let your kids drop out, don’t drop out yourself, do whatever you can to get an education. It’s the gateway to the American Dream, it’s the only way you can truly become who you want to be, instead of what you’re born into.

That’s what it’s all about.

Pick your candidates based on what you believe is right and important. Barack isn’t part of your crowd, he’s not going to change your life for you. That’s your job. For all I know, it’s not on his agenda either. Presidents tend to be a bit busy for that kind of micromanagement.

Sexism is the same way, but without even the slightest hint of a justifiable cause for complaint. There is no large sexist block (save yourselves) causing trouble, you have your rights. So Hillary is a woman…so what? Will she favor women or help women rise in status? Probably not. Even if she does, guess what that’s called? Sexism. That’s right kiddies, you’ve got to play by your own rules.

I’d go into Edwards, but I think it goes without saying that if you vote for a guy because of his hair, you need to be dipped in honey, rolled in candy, and released in a daycare center.

Don’t vote for Mitt because he’s Mormon. Don’t vote against him because he’s Mormon either. There shouldn’t be a political litmus test.

Don’t vote for McCain because he’s a veteran. There’s lots of those. Many are sane and very amazing, courageous people, but overgeneralization could result in a very poor decision. Don’t vote against him because he’s a veteran either. If it’s got to be military, vote against him because you don’t like his war policy.

Don’t vote against Ron Paul because those same blind morons keep spamming your site. I know you want to…but don’t. Conversely, don’t follow the group mentality of some of your peers and worship him as JFK’s second coming (or the like).

Don’t vote for Giuliani.

What to do: some common sense solutions for apathy and ignorance

Look at the issues. Watch some debates. Have an open mind. Utilize some common sense. Don’t look at the D or the R, don’t come pre-disposed and don’t argue for or against any candidate as you think about these things. It doesn’t take a genius. Get informed, and make a half-intelligent decision. With personal rights come personal responsibilities, and if you get the right to vote, you owe it to yourself to make sure it doesn’t go to waste. How can you complain if this nation spirals into a state of anarchy or a fascist regime (as your favorite war-cry may be) if you don’t utilize the democratic process you have? Here is a good place to start (biased as CNN may be).

And that’s another thing. Keep in mind that every single news source, even the mainstream, seemingly objective media monoliths, are biased. It may or may not be deliberate (hold the conspiracy theories, and enough about Fox. At least they’re honest about it), but it’s there. Compare and contrast the information from multiple sites, and from multiple news sources and mediums. You owe it to yourself, and you owe it to your country.

Unless you’re Canadian.